About the Episode
This week on MONSOON SEASON, I sat down with writer and Integrative Trauma Coach, Cara Matsukane for a conversation that moves through chaos, forgiveness, and the particular ache of staying steady in the in-between. We talk about what it means to sit with desperation instead of running from it, what it looks like to hold grief without losing yourself in it, and what it means to keep showing up at your own altar, however you define it, even when you don't know what will meet you there. It's a conversation about surrender, about letting yourself receive, and about the long, unglamorous work of becoming someone you don't yet have proof you can be.
*This episode was recorded via Substack LIVE on July 22, 2026. Thank you to the nine wonderful people who joined us live on the pod!
Key Takeaways
Why the messy middle feels so uncomfortable.
When there’s no external chaos to react to, we’re left sitting with whatever’s happening inside us instead, and that’s a much harder thing to face. Cara and Asa dig into why peace can feel more threatening than an actual crisis.
The hidden gift of desperation.
There’s a strange kind of hope buried inside hitting bottom, one that only shows up once you’ve stopped digging. Cara shares the exact moment her own desperation cracked something open.
Radical forgiveness, of others and especially of yourself.
Cara talks about the resentment she carried for years after a workplace betrayal, and how forgiving herself turned out to be the harder, more necessary piece. This is the part of the conversation that gets at what’s actually blocking your power.
Hit publish when you feel like you’re being too vulnerable.
Cara almost didn’t share one of her most honest posts because she worried it made her look weak as a coach. What happened after she hit publish anyway is the whole reason this takeaway made the list.
Chapters
00:00 | Welcome & Anchoring Ritual
05:44 | Introducing Cara Matsukane
07:26 | Chaos Muppets: Finding Comfort in Crisis
14:29 | Radical Forgiveness and Reclaiming Your Power
28:00 | The Gift of Desperation
35:14 | Miscarriage, Grief, and Rebuilding After Loss
42:06 | How Partners Can Show Up in Grief
48:37 | Depletion, Burnout, and Learning to Receive
1:02:20 | Devotional Business: Partnering with the Divine
1:12:03 | Closing Wisdom and Gratitude
"It's like a little window where God can come in. God's always there, but until we're desperate, we don't open that window up to let God in."
— Cara Matsukane
Meet Our Guest
Cara Matsukane is a sober woman, writer, Certified Integrative Trauma Coach, Reiki I & II practitioner, and gifted intuitive. She believes that the woman who creates consciously—the woman who brings something wholly her own into the world—has the power to transform everything around her. Cara is the author of the Substack publication She Who Makes, founder of the sacred accountability community Coven, and works one-on-one with women who are called to stop repeating inherited patterns so they can create their life and their work from their own truth.
Connect with Cara:
A song she would never skip:
References
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté
Brené Brown: “Unused creativity is not benign—it metastasizes. It turns into grief, rage, judgement, sorrow, shame.”
About Your Host
Hey, what’s up! I’m Asa (ay-sha)! I am a Bangladeshi-American meditation teacher, writer, and podcast host. I wield vulnerability as a sword, and help all beings that I encounter to become more vulnerable with themselves, so they can serve the world with their unique gifts and uplift culture and the collective consciousness. I’m a native New Yorker now living in Charleston, South Carolina. I’m so happy you are here. <3
Stay soft,
Asa ⚔️
