Five Vulnerable Things: Vol. 19
on spacious love, returns, meeting strangers, podcasting, and winning the lottery
This week I’ve been practicing something simple and radical — moving out of my head and into my heart. It sounds easy until you realize how much of your life you’ve been running from up top. Here’s what I’ve been sitting with.
Stop Leading With Your Head.
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about the difference between leading from my head and leading from my heart. The doubt still creeps in when I slip back into my headspace, but what I’ve learned in meditation is that my best moments, my deepest stillness, my clearest knowing, all come when I drop into the posture of my heart.
There’s actually science behind this. Heart coherence is the state when your heart rhythm becomes smooth and ordered rather than chaotic, and when that happens your nervous system, your emotions, and your mind all come into alignment. You think more clearly. You feel more calm. You access your intuition more easily. The HeartMath Institute discovered that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart. Which means the heart isn’t just feeling—it’s leading.
When we’re not in coherence—when we’re stressed, anxious, spinning in our heads, our heart rhythm is erratic and every decision we make from that state carries that chaos with it. I spent years making decisions from that place, and still do at times now. Overbuying. Overthinking. Over-explaining. Performing instead of being.
The same is true for everything I create. When it comes from my head it is strategic and careful and a little bit dead. When it comes from my heart it is carries aliveness.
Vulnerable Thing #1
“Letting go is the deepest form of love I know.”
I ended a coaching container a few months earlier than we expected. Not from failure, but from completion. My client came to me unclear about what she wanted to build. Over almost seven months we moved through so much together — shifting her identity, deepening her spiritual practice, subtracting what was weighing her down and creating space for something new to emerge.
We had signed up for a year. But intuitively it felt complete. In the past I would have held on. I would have manufactured reasons to continue. But I led from my heart, reached out honestly, and discovered she was feeling the same thing. We closed the container together with love and mutual knowing.
For someone who spent years gripped by the fear of abandonment, this was everything. I’ve learned that the truest love is the kind that can release. The fragrance of real connection doesn’t require holding on. I am proud of her. I am proud of us.
To love someone with spaciousness at the center is the most loving thing we can do.
Vulnerable Thing #2
“The boxes piling up are never really about the boxes.”
I’ve been honest with myself about something. When I’m in doubt or fear, the online shopping starts. Before I know it there are packages at the door and financial strain I can’t afford while I’m still rebuilding after last summer’s layoff.
I want to be clear, this isn’t a willpower problem. It’s a coping mechanism that once made sense and now has a price tag (literally!). What’s changed is that I can catch it faster. My meditation practice has deepened my ability to snap back and break cycles before they consume me. I tell my partner. I ask for help. We pack the returns together. It sounds small. It is not small.
The awareness itself is the healing. Being able to say ‘yeah, sometimes I buy things I can’t afford and I catch myself quickly and I get back on track without shame,’ that is the practice. These micro moments are often how we show ourselves we are breaking old cycles.
Vulnerable Thing #3
“Every intuitive pull toward a stranger is an invitation. Honor it.”
I did something scary at Starbucks this week. A man was sitting nearby editing videos, dressed impeccably, clearly a creative. In my neighborhood there are not many people of color, let alone creative ones with style. I felt the pull immediately. And I almost talked myself out of it.
My hands went clammy. I was nervous he’d think I was weird. But I got out of my own way and introduced myself. He turned out to be a journalist for the local news channel in Charleston. We talked about creativity and the lack of diversity here and he gave me his card.
I keep thinking about a clip I saw this week of a young journalist named Tope interviewing Sterling K. Brown. Tope’s voice was cracking. He was completely vulnerable in expressing what it meant to speak to Sterling K. Brown during Black History Month. And Sterling K. Brown had tears in his eyes. That’s what happens when we stop performing and start actually feeling out loud. We create perfect, pristine moments of humanity.
The intuitive pull exists for a reason. Please (I beg you) don’t talk yourself out of it. If Tope had spoken to Sterling with sterile performance and trying-to-play-it-cool, this moment wouldn’t have your heart in a chokehold. That’s what vulnerability does, allows us to truly be witnessed, connected, and deeply rooted in our heart coherence.
Vulnerable Thing #4
“I started this podcast to find my voice. I stayed because it saved my life.”
I started Monsoon Season Podcast in August of 2023 feeling completely lost and at one of the lowest points in my life mentally. I bought a fancy mic off Amazon. I thought I was hot shit. I plugged it in, and pressed record. My voice cracked the first time I hit record. It cracked the second time. It still fucking cracks now, and that’s okay.
For three years I’ve been throwing spaghetti at the wall — inconsistent, experimental, more spiritual lab than platform. I’ve recorded about 49 episodes. And through all of it, quietly, without me fully realizing it, I slipped into my heart voice. I found myself.
Now the vision is much more clear. For the remaining ten months of 2026 I am fully devoting myself to this podcast show. One episode a week (maybe 2…we’ll see). From my heart (not my head), straight into yours.
New episodes of Monsoon Season Podcast drop every Monday at 5:55am ET.
Vulnerable Thing #5
“One paid subscriber feels like winning the freaking lottery.”
I got my first paid subscriber on Substack this week!!! BOOYAAAA BABYYYYY!!!
I wish I could fully express what it took to get here — the darkness I’ve crawled out of, the years of chronic illness and depression and rebuilding, the layoff, the pivot, the quiet grinding in obscurity. These moments are not small to me. When I saw that notification I got emotional. Not because of the money. Because of truly being seen.
I put everything I have into this work. It is not performative. It is not content. It is my actual heart on the page and in the mic every single fucking time. So Zoey Greco — thank you. Even if you cancel (no pressure!), what that moment gave me was proof.
Proof that the right people are finding their way here. Proof that showing up matters.
The paid tier is coming very soon. If this work has moved you, upgrading to paid is one beautiful way to show your sincere support. Paid subscribers get exclusive essay deep dives, behind the scenes, and guided meditation recordings. I would be so honored to have you.
Minutes meditated so far this year: 1,139 minutes
If something in this resonated — reply and tell me which one. I read every single response.
Stay soft,
Asa
As someone also on the journey of moving from my head into my heart, this felt like divine timing to read this week. You are an inspiration to let vulnerability shine because it is what makes life feel alive and juicy. So proud of you for talking to the stranger! Cheering for you xx